We were sitting in front of a wall of Hockneys when security approached. “Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave. Your dog urinated in the LGBTQ+ Room.”
I fired back immediately. “That couldn’t be.” Because it couldn’t be. No way. I mean, how could it?
Security assured me that was the case, and they had video to prove it. “I don’t mean to push back, but I’d really like to see it. She’s been standing next time me since we walked in. Trust me, I’d know if she pee’d anywhere…and she hasn’t.” Security called for the video. I looked down to make eye contact. Her SERVICE DOG vest was a little crooked, so I adjusted it. “You couldn’t have pee’d on the floor without me knowing about it…could you?” I quietly asked. Because how could she? No way I would have missed something like that. Impossible.
But nothing’s really impossible. Because she could. And did.
While I was centering my phone on a terrific Bob Mizer beefcake photo collage so I could take a picture of it to show you, Molly stood up (after I had given her a sit command), took a couple of back steps, squatted, and curated some of her own business. Stealthy-like and quick. Very quick. Very stealthy. But not stealthy enough to fool security. Or the cameras. Then, just as quick and stealthy as she backed up, she got right back into her sit command and waited until I told her to heel. And then we walked on to the other terrific Bob Mizer beefcake photo collage on display.
It wasn’t supposed to go this way. We had good intentions. Really, we did. The Sculpture Garden. The LGBTQ room. Hockney’s Perspective Should Be Reversed. The Permanent Collection. Lunch. The gift shop. Instead, Molly—my companion and almost-always well-behaved dog—decided to contribute a little abstract expression of her own…in the form of a very unauthorized, very liquid installation. I’d like to think it would have made Bob Mizer smile. And David Hockney.
Molly may not be welcome back to the Palm Springs Museum anytime soon, but if you’re ever looking for ways to make a lasting impression, just know that sometimes, the most memorable exhibits are the ones you never intend to create.
